made new

You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, 

to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; 

to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, 

created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.  

Ephesians 4:22-24

I have been given relief this week.
An "a-ha" moment, of sorts, has given me freedom to let go of the search for the former me prior to October 16th, 2013.
God spoke to my spirit through the morning show on our local Christian radio station.  It is difficult to explain it, but for whatever reason, I needed to be made new.  God can and does use all things for His glory and our good.  Even cancer.
It is found in the verse above and in Revelation 21:5...

Then the One seated on the throne said, “Look! I am making everything new.” 

He also said, “Write, because these words are faithful and true.”

Yes, I know these verses speak of salvation through Jesus Christ.  We do become a new creation when Jesus is Lord of our life.  We are made new in Him and His righteousness. This newness does not have to begin and end with salvation.  As we mature in our walk with Christ, things are revealed to us and in us that we need to put behind us with God's help, His forgiveness, and/or His healing.

God carried me through a cancer diagnosis, surgery, and radiation therapy in order for me to be made new.  For His glory.  For my good.  I am not the same person.  If for no other reason, I believe He has given me story to be shared with others.  An experience that will help someone else down the road to endure their own.  A new understanding.  A new empathy.  A new perspective.  

Gone now is the desire for my old self.  In its place lies a kindled fire to find the path for this new self.  Another verse that makes more sense to me is Mark 2:22:

“No one sews a patch of unshrunk cloth on an old garment. Otherwise, the new piece will pull away from the old, making the tear worse. And no one pours new wine into old wineskins. Otherwise, the wine will burst the skins, and both the wine and the wineskins will be ruined. No, they pour new wine into new wineskins.”

I am new.  So are the things that I will do.  Matched together by a God who was, and is, and is to come.  He knows the former and the future.  He knows me and how I fit into both.  He knows me and yet uses me.  An amazing God changes me to make me more like Him.  A forgiving God who uses an imperfect person as myself to further His Kingdom.  That is only something God can do.  

A new self needs a new path.  

No more searching behind me, only ahead.

What a relief!