Tuesday, September 20, 2016

dog kisses

So this happened last night...
What started out as a cute moment with my neighbor dog who came over to play turned into a blurry selfie of a dog licking my cheek.
You see, I'm not a dog person. I'm not going to be a dog person. Ever. I don't want to be a dog person.  They bark.  They smell.  They slobber. They require attention and food.  The list could go on and does.
But, somehow...someway...this dog has worked his way into my heart.
I love this dog.  He loves me.
Maybe it's because he comes and goes aften a few minutes of play time.  Maybe it's because he doesn't try to take over my side of the bed.  Maybe it's because I have two teen boys and am used to more random smells and the constant disappearance of food occurring.
Who knows the reason why, but this dog is special to me. So, last night when attempting a pic with him and I saw what was about to take place, I braced myself and allowed a dog kiss to be planted on my face.  I still jerked a little, as indicated by the blurry pic, but usually I'm bending, flailing, and making my getaway far ahead of a wet tongue touching my face.  Really, it's just...ick...I can't even...
This time was different.
Because my thoughts about this dog are different.
Because he makes me happy when he bounds toward me as he sees me and hears my voice calling his name.
Because my time with him is usually short and I want to make him feel loved when he's with me.
When I started to think about why I allowed my neighbor dog to lick my face, I started to see a pattern developing.
My mindset changed about this dog, so my reaction to him is different than with other dogs.
A similar thing happened when I changed my mindset about exercising.
For years I thought it was about spending hours on a treadmill and doing cardio things that I just did not enjoy and found tremendously boring.
But, I pushed play on P90X, not knowing what it or who Tony Horton was.  I just made up my mind one day I would become stronger and pushed play.  I opened my mind up to trying something new even if still under the umbrella of "exercise".
Like with my neighbor dog, though, because my mindset was different, my reaction to this certain exercise program was different.  It endeared itself to me.  I was drawn to it everyday for an hour; sometimes longer.  I felt better after spending time engaging in its methods and, perhaps, a little madness.
You see, by spending time with my neighbor dog, investing in him, and allowing my "no dogs allowed" sign to be taken down, I have found my soulmate in the doggie world.  I never thought it would happen, but when I met him at just 8 weeks old, I was willing to try.  We have been best buds ever since.
Similarly, like I have found my soulmate in the dog world in this pup from next door, I have found my soulmate workout in P90X.  By changing my mindset about the reason I would workout, I tried something new.  I learned to open myself up to new challenges, things I did not know I would like or even love to do.  Once it happened, the door was opened to a whole world of options and new things to set goals toward and challenge myself to accomplish.
So, my encouragement to you is to think differently about exercising.  Perhaps nothing has clicked yet because you haven't found the one for you yet.  It's out there.  If I found one, anyone can.
Dog kisses still aren't my thing, nor is cardio, but some days I welcome both into my world to make me a better person. Inside and out.


Friday, September 9, 2016

choose your easy

More and more I am seeing this thought meme-ing its way through social media...
"I wish it were as easy to lose weight as it is to gain weight."
I beg your pardon...

Whoever said it was easy to gain weight?
 
What part about gaining weight is any easier than losing it?
I gained weight consistently over the course of the first 41 years of my life.
I do not recall those years as easy ones where my weight was concerned.

What is easy about being the heaviest person in your family? Or in your class?
What is easy about having to buy clothes that are labeled as "husky"? Or later on in life, have to shop in a special section of the store for "women's sizes" or even in stores that only carry "women's sizes".
What is that supposed to even mean...women's sizes???
What is easy about feeling as if you have no self control?
What is easy about eating until your pants are too tight before you ever get up from the table?
What is easy about feeling guilty for eating when you're not even hungy?
What is easy about dealing with shame, directly or indirectly placed on you due to your size?
What is easy about hiding in pictures or just avoiding being in them altogether?
What is easy about wishing for a different life and never seemingly able to understand how to attain it?
What is easy about dealing with depression about your weight, sometimes giving way to indulging even more to "comfort" yourself?
What is easy about going out with friends and seeing them eat the same thing you do but they never seem to put on a pound?
What is easy about seeing your poor choices and lack of self control be learned by your own children right before your very eyes?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Let me assure you, gaining weight is anything but easy.

Why does this concept get under my skin every time I see someone mention it?
Because it is empowering excuses to run their lives.
Excuses such as, but not inclusive to...
I deserve to be happy and food makes me happy.  I cannot stick with a diet.  I need fill in the blank.  I'm tired.  I don't have time to cook/exercise.  I don't care.  I will start losing weight when fill in the blank.  Nobody wants to join me.  I don't know how to lose weight.  I feel intimidated at the gym.  I don't like to cook.  It's too expensive.  I am afraid of failing{again}.  Exercising is boring.  I don't eat vegetables.  My knees/back hurt.  I stress eat.  I have tried everything...nothing works. 


Gaining weight is not easier than losing it.
It is all a matter of your perspective.

If you change the way you think about nutrition and exercise, you'll change your view of easy.

Losing weight takes a why, much determination, and a plan of action...and a Plan B for when life happens.  Life has a habit of getting in the way of your plans.  Expect it and prepare for it as best you can.  Take notes along the way of what works, doesn't work, needs some tweaking, and what you enjoy, as well as, what challenges you the most.  Make adjustments that pave the way for progress.  Forget about being perfect.  Or instantaneous results.  Think marathon versus sprint.

Compare how easy it is to feel a sense of accomplishment when a workout is over, knowing you chose to give it your best that day to how easy it is to feel winded walking from the parking lot into a building.
Compare how easy it is to feel happy about a healthier option by ordering a cheeseburger without a bun versus drowning your sorrows with a side of fries.
Compare how easy it is to know the sore muscles you feel are growing and becoming stronger versus feeling weak and tired from doing nothing all day.
Compare whether your struggle, whatever it may be, is worth the reward you get from it.
It's up to you to choose your easy.  









Tuesday, September 6, 2016

my college car...

I had a moment over the weekend when I remembered my car from my college days.  Something during Sunday's sermon made me think of it. Wish I could remember what it was that sparked such a memory, but I know I had to chuckle when the thought of that car crossed my mind.
That car.
Oh, that dear, seafoam green Chevy Impala from some year in the 80's...bless its heart.
That car spent as much time not running/getting worked on as it did running.  Maybe more so.  When one thing would get fixed, another went awry.
Some things I never even attempted to get fixed due to the cost.
Things like the heater running 100% of the time.
That included summer, folks.
Summers in Indiana are more humid than in Georgia.
When I would travel the four hours from Fort Wayne to home, I would buy a bag of ice and put it under my legs to stay cool. I did what I had to do to get by...and, it never left me stranded on the side of the road; usually just in a parking lot somewhere.  There is that.  And, for this, I am truly grateful. I also kept a mom & pop garage up and running with all the repairs they did...we felt like family, seeing each other so often.  They tried their best with what they had to work with in that car.
If Google had been around then (don't laugh), a picture of that car would have appeared when you searched for "lemon" images.
Not even kidding.
Well, that Chevy had one thing quirk that embarrassed me more than anything else.
Soon after I began driving it as "my" car, it decided that when I went to shut it off, it would continue to sputter, cough, and hiccup for awhile before one last "Achoo!".
I can laugh now, but back in the day...oh, the horror was a car doing such a thing, to a young, single lady trying to make her way through life.
I asked some questions.  Got some opinions.  Found an answer.
Believe it or not, it was an easy fix: premium gasoline.
It preferred a higher octane fuel.
It ran well on premium; not so well on regular.
Guess where I'm going with this...
A human body is just like my Impala...it runs its best on higher quality fuel.
There are differing levels of food quality out there for us to choose from in a grocery store/restaurant just like there are usually three grades of fuel to choose from at most fuel pumps.
We have to decide which one we want based on several factors that include cost, quality, and goals.
When I put the lower grade fuel in my Impala (nicknamed "The Beast" by my college friends, and rightly so), it acted up.  It ran, but did not run well.  There were all kinds of consequences to the choice of a lower quality fuel that I had to endure.
Likewise, I have found that my body operates accordingly to the quality of "fuel" with which I choose to fill it.
Was I living and breathing in the spring of 2013 when my weight had spiked back up to 180+ pounds? Yes.
Was I feeling good, and operating at my best?  Not at all. Not even close.
The fuel I choose for my body is just as important as the fuel I needed to choose for "The Beast" back in the day for it not to totally embarrass me.
Our bodies are in need of a variety of clean, as close to its natural state as possible, food on a consistent basis in order to run in such a way to fight off some illnesses/colds/viruses and to operate at its best.
Feeling good, having sustainable energy, and being well are more important to me than any jean size ever will be.
My car told me, in no uncertain terms, which fuel it preferred.  My body does the same.
Lately, I have consumed too many carbs...the good, the bad, and the ugly kinds.  By choice.  And, my body is responding according to my choices with increased tiredness, headaches, and sluggishness.  I'm mending my ways, but still reaping the effects of my choices days later.
Clean eating is a choice I have made for my body.  It is why I daily drink Shakeology.  It makes my body run smoother, perform better, and helps my overall health.
It does not mean that I do not enjoy treats now and then.  I will never give up bacon or pizza, but I will be wiser with my portions of them for my own good.  I have taken on the challenge to not eat a food when my mind says, "I 'need' it", but to consume something because I want it as an occasional treat.
Our mentality toward food and about food has to be healthy.
Food is our fuel.
It is not therapy.
It is not there to give you a hug.
It is not something to empower.
It is not there to make you happy.
Food does not need you to “need” it.
It is simply fuel for your body like gasoline is for your vehicle.
My tastes have changed over time and my body craves healthier food now...higher octane fuel, one might say.  A treat now and then will not undo my progress, but to get to my goals, I had to be very choosy when I began this journey to a healthier version of myself.  I had to be dedicated to new choices.  I had to look at food in a new way.  I had to control my food choices instead of them controlling me.  A mind over matter issue.
Accountability groups helped me tremendously with this in the beginning of my journey, and why I, still today, go to my coach's long running group when I find myself struggling in a certain area.  This is also why I now run a monthly free group of my own.  I want to help people look more intently at their relationship with food and food's relationship to one's overall health.  I want to share my experiences and lessons learned the hard way with others so maybe their journey will be less bumpy than my own.
Maybe you're reading this and feeling as if you're running like my Impala did when on regular gasoline...slow to start, moody, and kind of embarrassingly awkward.  Message me and let's talk.  I'd enjoy nothing more than having you in my next free accountability group and seeing you thriving and feeling better than you have in years.
The Impala and I...well...we've both moved on in life.
Only one of us has improved with age...{smiley face}    

Wednesday, August 31, 2016

lumpy gravy

Gravy and I have a history.
It's complicated.
If I had a dollar for every time I attempted to make gravy, I'd have...$5.
(Yes, I can count on one hand how many times I have attempted homemade gravy.  If you only count how many times I actually put the gravy out for consumption, my return goes down.)
Over the weekend, my husband mentioned he was hungry for beef tips and rice. So, when grocery shopping Sunday evening upon arriving home from a business trip, I picked up the necessary items to make him some for lunch one day this week.
Today was the day.
The previous four attempts at gravy were hard lessons learned.  No flavor.  Lumps.  Too thick.  Epic fail.  You name the disaster and my gravy consisted of it; sometimes combinations of disasters at once.
So, I've watched videos.  I've consulted with my sister and witnessed her make gravy in front of me. I've read recipes.  I've made mental notes.
This time it was going to be different.
Nope.
I made the tastiest, but lumpiest gravy in the history of my gravy making life.
At one time, while adding more milk and whisking prayers into the skillet in front of me, I wished I had my blender so I could puree it.
Seriously.
But, it had taste {at least} so I left it on the lunch menu.
***Let me just make a sidenote, here that I realize I could have just thickened some beef broth...I wanted to make gravy instead, though. I went in with confidence it would be different this time around.***
Also, allow me to state that when opening the bag of brown rice I had cooked, successfully, I might add, it EXPLODED all over the countertop and stove.
Consequently, when Scott came in and asked if I was okay, #thereweretears.
A whiny voice, huge tears streaming down my cheeks kind of moment.
It happens to the best of us.  Don't judge.
He, being the best husband ever, assured me it was going to be okay and filled his plate like a champ., bless his heart, lumpy gravy and all.
Life goes on.
And blog posts are formed.
Which is the real reason I am here typing out this most recent event which, coincidentally, is making me literally laugh out loud as I remember the play by play of today's lunch prep.
You see, God began laying out some parallels to this gravy catastrophe while washing up the lunch dishes.
Similar to my "it will be different this time" mentality, there are times when we think we can manage an area in our lives in which we struggle...experience weakness...should just all together avoid...because the chances of it going all together wrong are high.  Yet, we enter in with confidence anyway. And, right before our very eyes we see that it's spiraling out of control at a consistent pace. Instead of just stopping there, we keep on doing the same thing (adding liquid; whisking) and end up with a less than happy ending.  Just like the last time.
While as a follower of Jesus, there is grace and forgiveness extended because of the Cross, doing the same thing, even with confidence, will always get the same result.
Additionally, in another aspect of life that is important to me, lies another parallel.
The parallel between gravy making and fitness does exist if you look for it hard enough and allow me to explain.
Remember what gave me the confidence to attempt gravy again?
I had watched other people do it...and thought it was enough.
Ever watched other people in the gym or on infomercials and think to yourself, "I can do that." So, you get a gym membership or the latest, greatest treadmill and set out on a journey to epic results.
The first few moments are okay.  Still positive.  Still believing the outcome will be nothing short of amazing.
Then, your muscles begin to hurt.
You get bored.
You do what you see others doing (or attempt to), but do not see the results you expected.
You end up in tears, eating the lumpiest gravy ever.
Why?
You did not have anyone to lead you step by step.
You lacked support when it got hard.
You were going on motivation that ran out well before the results showed up.
My next attempt with gravy should have been with my sister right beside me, telling me how to proceed...giving me step by step directions until I realized the proper steps to success.  She could have stepped in and stopped my train wreck of a meal from happening.
But, I tried it on my own.
I have realized one important thing through my personal experience with Beachbody, and as a Beachbody coach: doing this alone is not the way to reach goals.
I need professional trainers to teach me step by step instructions.
I need my coach to share her lessons learned the hard way with me, so I don't repeat them myself.
I need my team to encourage me when it's hard (notice: not IF, but WHEN).
I need my tribe to keep me focused and accountable.
I need them and I love them for everything they do for me and with me on this journey.
You see, there is no finish line to cross with health/fitness.
It's a lifestyle.  It keeps on going long past initial goals being met.
If I try going at it alone, I end up getting nowhere.
When I go at this with help, I see results.
Do you need help?
Talk to me.
Let's go at this together.
Likewise, it is time I leave the gravy making up to those who are good at it.
I will bring the dessert.

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

my why

If you’ve achieved any number of years, you will be, or already have been faced with constant transition, challenges, and change.
Born out of these challenges is an opportunity for greatness. Everyone wants to leave a mark on the world, and everyone has something of value. We’re all on a quest to find that one thing that we can finally say “Ah, that’s why! That was my purpose for living.”
~Sandy Peckinpah~
Almost 3 years ago, I was tired of living life on the same old roller coaster.  Unhealthy habits, riding through the days one sugar high then crash after another, and having no sustainable energy led me to simply whisper a prayer for help.
Help for what, you ask...help to find the answers to being healthy, feeling good, and making the outside match the inside of me.  Help to find what works for me to finally discover what I believed to be a "normal" lifestyle felt like.
Through the course of some months' time, and through some unique ways, my prayer became answered.  I covered some of this journey toward answers in previous posts which can be read here, here, and here.
Anyway...currently, I find myself almost two years into my personal lifestyle changes for a healthier version of myself, almost one year into coaching others to finding a healthier version of themselves, and it just occurred to me that I was living a "normal" lifestyle back in the day.  It is what people accept to be okay, know no better to seek to get out from its grasp, and down right refuse to change. What I have now is far from normal; it's considered crazy by more than a few; flatly rejected by others....and it's the BEST life I have ever lived.
Why would I intentionally set myself apart from the norm day after day after day?
Because I am worth it.
Because finding my life after all these years of struggling with weight and self-image is worth it.
Because you are worth it.
Because sharing my story, which has an entire message of hope, encouragement, confidence and strength embedded within it, is worth it.
Because empowering you with what I have learned, experienced, failed at, succeeded with, and (at times) cried through, is worth it.
My why that keeps me drinking Shakeology, surviving cardio with Shaun T, enduring surrenders with Autumn Calabrese, lifting heavy with Sagi Kalev, trying to find rhythm with Chalean Johnson, and laughing through ab work with Tony Horton is the simple fact that doing these things has given me a more abundant life oustide of doing them.
My why that keeps me sharing with you my results with these tools that I have found to work for me is because I believe that you can find and I want you to have the same sort of abundant life outside of them as well.
You can feel better.  You can become stronger.  You can find balance.  You can make a difference in your health.  You can have sustained energy throughout the day.  You can sleep better.  You can keep up with your kids/grandkids.  You can eat healthier.  You can lose weight.  You can feel confident in photos.  You can feel as beautiful as you look.  You can stop hiding behind baggy clothes.  You can be your own boss.  You can have self control over food.  And more.
My why is you.

Saturday, March 19, 2016

I am a Beachbody Coach.

It is a title I now hold.  It is something I worked up courage to take on as a personal endeavor.  It is a way for me to save money on some of my beloved and favorite tools I use daily to achieve fitness and nutrition goals.
Many do not understand my journey to this "job"...nor do they understand the "job" description that comes with it.
Most likely this is because there isn't one to be found.
I write the description for myself.
Every Beachbody Coach writes the description for themselves.
This is a good thing because every individual who takes on being a coach has personalized goals...whys...for which they work.  You choose your whys.  You choose your methods.  You choose your targets at which to shoot.
What being a Beachbody Coach for me is different than most.  Being a coach is a way in which I can promote the tools I have found to help me become most successful at my individual goals where my health is concerned.  The way in which I promote these tools is by being a product of these tools.
My words and pictures reveal which tools are in my arsenal.
My lifestyle reflects how I use these tools.
My transformation speaks of the effectiveness of the tools.
With this, I have written in my job description to share what I have experienced, tried and failed at, succeeded at, found useful, found harmful, enjoyed, endured, endeavored, thrived at, and cried through.
Things I share inspire some. They frustrate and bore others.
It is not in my job description to control how people react or respond to the things I share.
That is neither here nor there for me.  It doesn't have to be.
It is my job to offer to share and pay forward what has brought me thus far on my journey...what I have found to be useful and effective and beneficial for a healthier lifestyle.
Please know it is not personal if I have or have not invited you personally to join me in an accountability group or to do some crazy awesome push up challenge.  It is simply an offer to join in on something that I enjoy.  Just like when I make a good cheesecake, it is even better if and when I share it with others.
My invitation to find a healthier version of your already beautiful self is always open.  It is meant as an offer to find and use tools to personally tweak any part of your lifestyle in the way(s) of your own choosing.
No judgement.
No preconceived notions.
Nothing but an offer to try something new or find something to challenge you in a new way.
I am thankful that my coach shared her story with me (and a few thousand others) over 2.5 years ago.  Her boldness and willingness to share changed my life for the better.
I know I am doing my coaching job well when others find themselves experiencing a healthier version of themselves on this journey we call life because of my sharing and inviting.
Will you join me?  The invite it always open and you are always welcome.

Friday, December 18, 2015

being perfect vs. being perfected


With much trial and error, I am finding my way to a healthier version of myself more so than ever previously accomplished in this thing I call my life.  I have been pondering what makes this time around more effective.  The answer, while muli-leveled, is quite elementary.
I gave up on being perfect and became willing to be perfected.
My focus changed from arriving at a destination to enjoying the journey.
The first, the act of arriving, leaves little wiggle room for error.  There's an expectation to meet.  Nothing shy of that expectation is satisfying.
The second, enjoying the journey, means, as long as I am moving...stumbling...falling forward, I am making progress and, perhaps, even making time to enjoy the milestones along the way.
It may not be pretty all the time; it doesn't have to be.
This is the great thing about switching gears from being perfect to being willing to be perfected: what I do (or try to do) doesn't have to be perfect to be effectively bringing about changes.  The process of being perfected allows for hard, ugly moments to teach me lessons I am in need of learning.  It also allows me the freedom from having to keep up with a trainer...do as many reps or lift as heavy as someone else...or be a certain jean size...in order to be content.  Being willing to be perfected is simply me saying that I cannot do this alone and allowing someone to teach me how to become better.
When one is focused on being perfect, there is an urgency to see results.  Instantaneous gratification is sought. When results are not encountered in a designated amount of time, discouragement is waiting to step in, soon to be followed by its friend, giving up.  I'll let you in on a little secret...one does not become "out of shape" overnight or in a week's, or even a month's, time and one will not become "fit" in that time frame either.  It takes consistency in either case; consistently partaking in unhealthy habits or consistently doing something to improve your health over time brings the changes one experiences.
When one becomes willing to be perfected, there's a mindset that little steps in the right direction eventually lead to the final destination.  Trying and failing is countered with grace.  As the journey continues, one realizes results are in proportion to one's effort.  One's first taste of results gives way for wanting more, therefore, leading to more effort and more results.  Those results are like milestones on this fitness journey.  Focusing, now, on the next milestone, one does not lose sight of the final destination, but looks more toward celebrating the little successes along the way.  These milestone celebrations are closer together than the start/finish line ever will be to each other.  This gives way for a renewed sense of accomplishment and gratification for the work it took to get where you are over and over and over again, as opposed to just at the end.  Discouragement and giving up have less of a chance against a consistently encouraged mind, body, and spirit.
While both being perfect and being perfected are hard, requiring sweat and tears in my case, freedom is found in the process of being perfected.
Freedom
...from past mistakes.
...to find a pace that works for your body and schedule.
...to try and fail without considering oneself a failure.
...in celebrating non scale victories.
...to enjoy the journey, including all its ups, downs, wrong turns, and detours.
If I could do anything for you, I would want to encourage you to set goals, dream big, but be realistic.  Find your way by being consistent over time.  Challenge yourself to making your next milestone be the one where you love yourself enough to keep on going no matter the pace you choose.  Find people who are on a similar journey and encourage one another through the rough times; high five each other during the good.
And, as one of my favorite quotes says...
Until further notice, celebrate everything.
~David Wolfe~