Wednesday, October 23, 2013

ICR: waiting

You will keep the mind that is dependent on You in perfect peace, for it is trusting in You. 
Isaiah 26:3
Is anything more difficult than waiting on something?
Your birthday...Christmas...graduation...vacation...a job...marriage...a answer to prayer...test results.
The days seem to drag on, especially as the big event draws closer.
When I wrote I can relate., I had some things in mind that maybe one day I would be writing about from past experiences.  I had no idea the first follow up post would be about something that has just occurred in the past week.
NOTE:  personal story of the female kind ahead...FYI.
Therefore let us approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us at the proper time.
Hebrews 4:16
As of right now, I am awaiting results on a biopsy taken this morning of calcification desposits located in my left breast.
Sometime between Friday and next Wednesday one of three findings will be released: benign, precancerous, cancer.
A week ago, I went in for my normal over the age of 40 mammogram.  Had one three years ago, prior to 40, due to a lump felt by my gyn.  Was called in for a second diagnostic exam and ultrasound then.  All came back fine.  Come back when you're 40 kind of results.
This year, knowing what to expect, was helpful.  Even the call to return for another diagnostic exam was less frightening.  Trust me, knowing what to expect does not make the appointment for a severe smooshing several times over in one hour's time something to look forward to.
It hurts.  Brings tears to your eyes kind of hurt.
But, it answers questions.  Saves lives.  So we do it.
I have been around people long enough in this life to know some things about body language.  One thing that is a dead give away for concern is how fast and how much someone is talking to you, especially during a stressful situation.
My thought on the day of the diagnostic mammogram:  "Marilyn, you're talking too much for me NOT to be concerned."  Yes, she and I established early on in the exam, that a first name basis between us is certainly allowed.  Really think about it, and you'll understand why.  Only one other exam can top how personal two people can be in a few minutes' time.
The more she talked and tried to calm my nerves, the more I realized that I was not leaving the office without an ultrasound.
I was right.
After a few more minutes in the waiting room after the diagnostic exam, I was called back for an ultrasound.
The ladies at my imaging clinic are awesome!  They are efficient and courteous.  They make you feel at ease as much as they can.  Even provide warm blankets when you are freezing.  Bonus points!
As the radiologist enters the room where I had my ultrasound, she grabs a stool and sits down.
This didn't happen last time.  I knew what she had to say before she said it.
Needle biopsy.
I will spare you all the emotions of Monday.  I recalled most of what the radiologist said.  I know that they know nothing for certain yet.  Life has resumed on as normal for all pretense purposes.
That is why I went back in this morning for the biopsy.  To find answers.  To know for sure.  So life can go on from here.
Am I praying for the word "benign" to be the next word out of my radiologist's mouth?  Of course, I am.
Am I afraid that it will be something else.  Of course, I am.
As I sat there in that ultrasound room with the radiologist, the first thing to go through my mind was,
"When I am afraid, I will trust in You."  Psalm 56:3
I will spare you all the details of today's biopsy other than to let you know it was uncomfortable, scary, and I am in a little pain now.  Those helping me and doing the procedures, again, were amazing!  I felt well taken care of.  I know they will get me the results as soon as the lab gives them opportunity to do so.
Other than waiting, I am to have what my nurse, Kathy, referred to as "princess days" for the next two days. No strenuous exercise, no heavy lifting, no vacuuming.  Okay.  I can live with that last one for sure.  I will feel rather lazy not being able to lift weights until Saturday.  Walking will have to do for awhile.
It is a journey unexpected.  An adventure, nonetheless.
The words to 10,000 Reasons kept going through my head this morning...
Whatever may pass and whatever lies before me, 
let me be singing when the evening comes. 
Bless the Lord, O my soul.
Stay tuned...

Friday, October 18, 2013

HaPpY BiRtHdAy!!!


Happy Birthday, Alex!

Today we celebrated Alex's 11th Birthday.  It began early...and ran late.  He and Tim are just getting off to bed now.  
It has been a week long celebration beginning in IN over last weekend with my family.  Usually we take off school on the boys' birthdays, but because he had his golfing and birthday celebration with Nana and Pawpaw on Monday, we had school today...after the annual stop at Duncan Donuts for two round goodies with holes in the middle (three if you count the FREE one he was given, too, but hasn't devoured yet).  I cannot complain for I was introduced to pumpkin spice {decaf} coffee today.  I am in love.  Yes, in LOVE!
Moving on...even though I could really go for another cup of that amazing brew...
DD, school, and lunch with Grandpa and Grandma Roth completed our morning.  Alex chose to eat lunch at the Downtown Grill.  It was a wonderful surprise that he chose this particular restaurant because it has a personal favorite of mine on the menu: fried green tomato BLT.  Yes, bacon and the infamous Southern classic fried green tomatoes on a sandwich together!  I was so happy and beginning to feel as if it were my birthday, too.  :) 
After lunch, we made a pitstop at Walmart for batteries and then made our way home to begin playing Monopoly Electronic Banking, one of A's presents from his grandparents.  The game is still going be continued...Tim's in the lead, then Alex, and while I am still in the game, I'm one roll away from bankruptcy.
A little down time led to play time outside.  I was taken for a dunebuggy ride of a lifetime by Alex.  He did a great job at keeping all four wheels on the ground most of the time. :)  It was a joy to ride with him.  Time together is a blessing.
I love this handsome, goofy, loving, growing up so fast, young man so much!
Happy Birthday!

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

I can relate.

I pray that you, being rooted and firmly established in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the length and width, height and depth of God’s love, and to know the Messiah’s love that surpasses knowledge, so you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:17b-19
There are times when I can so relate to certain folks in the Bible.  
As I read the adventures of success and failure, good times and bad, I sometimes wonder if they (whomever it is at the time) had any clue that many moons later their story would have an effect on a life in the 21st century.  And, is it not just like God to use His living and active Word (Hebrews 4:12) to bring relevance and hope to life today through the experiences of His people years ago?  
Personally, I think it's awesome.
Today, the pretty life is what is mostly displayed for the world to see.  All things great, comical, or otherwise happy are okay to share across social media.  Or major complaints. Those are showing up more and more these day with college football in action, baseball playoff games going on, and the government shutting down. 
A friend posted a thought provoking idea the other day.  What would have people of Bible times posted on social media?  Think of what #hashtag statements they might have used.  Or what IG photos they might have posted.  The Bible is a host of accounts that, if asked ahead of time, involved parties of the not so pretty moments would rather not have out there for the world to read.  From Adam and Eve, to David, to Lot, to Jonah, to Peter, to Paul, to many others, there are things of their pasts that have stood the test of time.  Their life stories are passed on from generation to generation.  Mixed in with the absolute best moments are the accounts of the absolute worst decisions.  Ever. 
All on display, some in great detail, in the best selling Book of all time.  
All so that those of us who come after them can learn something about God...His character...His "I AM-ness"...His forgiveness.  
All so that God will receive the glory due Him.
So, today I am challenged.  Nudged.  Prodded.  Are there adventures of the bad and ugly kind in my past that could perhaps help others through their own unmentionable moments happening today?  
(Of course, there are.)  
Am I willing to dare begin the sharing of these moments in my own life for the glory of God who has been faithful to bring me through them?  
(Like I have any other choice...)  
Therefore, as God so leads, I am open to the idea of including more accounts of the bad and ugly among the good.  Not for the sake of a good story, but always for the glory of God.