Thursday, July 15, 2010

doubts and dreams

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God.

We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will.         Romans 8:21-27

This past week has been one big emotional roller coaster ride.  I don't like roller coasters.  Never have. 
Frankly, I want off. 
Realistically, I volunteered myself for the ride. 
Thankfully, God knows when and how the ride ends and I trust Him to take care of me.
Family...friends...faith...they've all been challenged (or been challenging) in some fashion as of late.  Several reasons as to why this is all happening could come into play.  The biggest one, I believe, being spiritual warfare.  I leave for Alaska in two days...and satan would like nothing better than for me to be totally distracted and exhausted by things of this world so that I am less attentive to what God has for me and how He wants to use me. 
I am praying my way through these last days before AK.  If you care to, please join me in prayer concerning these things...
*I am headed to Alaska alone.  Will meet up with friends once there, but beginning this journey solo.  This is different than the two previous trips.  Always been on a team before...my team this year consists of God and me.  Glad I know Romans 8:31-39 by heart...
*Leaving Scott, Alex and Tim for two weeks this time around.  The boys will be in Indiana with my family for one week and then at their Nana's the second, so we're all going to be apart.  The tears have already started to fall time to time, but we're all holding it together as best we can.
*My father-in-law is having heart surgery later this morning.  There's nothing minor about heart surgery.
*Once in Alaska, the tasks before me are different than before and remain quite a mystery to me yet.  Praying for clarification of expectations and for a flexible heart that accepts whatever awaits me.
*Distractions of my own design have made their way into my thoughts and are taking my energy and time.  I need  to move on but don't know how.  Please pray that my focus is regained and my mind is set on things above and not on earthly things.  Colossians 3:1-10
*Doubts keep creeping in...pray I focus less on my giants and more on my God.  He must become greater and I must become less...John 3:27-30
*Dreams don't always come true and this is okay...first and foremost, my hope is to be in the Lord.  Isaiah 40:31
*Pray that joy comes each and every morning...not just in Alaska, but everyday of my life, and is evident to others on even the roughest of days.  Psalm 16:11; 30:5,  Jeremiah 15:16
*Pray that I am a blessing to someone...someway, somehow.  2 Corinthians 1:3
*Praise God for allowing me this opportunity to return to Alaska...I do love it there!
*Give thanks for my being able to be a part of something that is bigger than myself...it makes me feel alive!
*Thank God for friends who pray!

2 comments:

  1. Finally (sisters) Continue to stand strong, and then continue to stand!
    God LOVES you so much. Remember you can rest in his love and know that it has the ability to carry you to where you currently are and to keep you there!

    You are a blessing to so many... 'never doubt in the darkness what God has revealed in the light!

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  2. Dr. Wes...ahhhh...I needed that! Thanks for the reminder, Sarah.

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