Game Day

For those who may not know, Game Day is one of the workouts in Shaun T's Insanity Asylum.
Appropriately named, if you ask me.
It is insane and you have to be committed to finishing it in order to finish it.
Every day of this now 16 month journey that I've been on, prior to July 6th, Shaun T and I had an understanding...it's rather one sided, of course, since he has no clue as to who I am, but an understanding, nonetheless.
This was the gist of it: I don't try his workouts; he doesn't yell at me nor do I fail.
Pretty cut and dry.
I was happy. Shaun T was happy. Why wouldn't he be? Everyone else loves him and his Insanity this, that, and the other.
I feared the man and his workouts.
So, what happened that I am now blogging about Game Day?
I began Insanity Asylum. And completed it. Will get the T-shirt one day soon.
Before I get on with Game Day follies, let me just say I extremely disliked hated day one. I do not use this particular word lightly or often. It is reserved for such things as ants and being embarrassed. Asylum moved into the top 3 with these otherwise despised things in life.
Day two was okay since it involved dumbbells. Days 3, 4, and 5 rated up there with Day one.
Odd duck that I am, I committed to finishing, so I kept going back day after day and pushing play according to the schedule.
Strength, was my saving grace. If it had not been for my looking forward to getting back to Strength day, it would have been a very long 30 days.
Toward the end of week two, Game Day was on tap. Had no clue what to expect. Never looked into any of the workouts prior to beginning, so I just went with it.
Come to find out, it was 60 minutes spent doing a variety of moves from the most popular of sports, Shaun T style.
Beginning with a mile run.
Seriously.
I don't like running. Ask anyone who knows me somewhat well. I don't run for fun. It is not relaxing. It actually stresses me out. But, lest I digress....
Somewhere after the mile run, which I surprised myself by completing rather well...meaning, I didn't die or quit in the middle of it...and before baseball which is the final sport of the workout, I broke down in tears no less than three times. When I say broke down, it wasn't just tears, it was sobbing, people. Sob-bing. Out of the blue it would hit me. And, I went with it. Took me longer than 60 minutes to get through Game Day that first time.
Why? You may ask.
I think my post to my challenge group from that day, July 16th, explains it best...

Game Day.
Wow.
So much I could say...I had some successes, had some not too bad moments, and then there was Mounted Mat Maneuver.
All I can say is that I tried that one.
And cried.
More than once.
I am tearing up again now, in fact.
All the memories of the younger me trying to play sports, competitively or leisurely, came flooding back.
I felt that fear of failure overwhelm me again. It was real. It was hard to keep going.
BUT, I DID.
Because that is not who I am NOW.
Still far from perfect, anything but athletic, and not the least bit graceful, but I made it through all 60 minutes.Hats off to you, Shaun T...you have made your way into my heart with this one. You have pushed and I have grown. I needed this.

After this day, I had a higher respect for Asylum, Shaun T, and myself.

Funny thing is that I thought that first Game Day was therapeutic and awesome and was {almost} ready for it the next time it showed up on the schedule.

I was wrong.

Out of nowhere again, in the middle of the workout, #thereweretears.

July 31st's post captures my thoughts from my second attempt at Game Day...

Game Day this morning before friends came over to swim.
I was excited and dreading it both.
And, yes, ‪#‎thereweretears‬ again. Only one round of full out sobbing this time, however.
I watched the wrestling move demo better this time and improved a little. It was certainly less frustrating, but I still have a flaring elbow giving me fits.
My endurance is up.
My heart has softened even more toward Shaun T.
My finish line is in sight.
I am crazy enough to be thinking of doing a hybrid P90X/Asylum workout next.

There are things Shaun T says in the heat of the moment that get to my heart.  My head is then fighting to deny my heart the pleasure of believing his words.  And, I cry it out.

Look at August 6th's post...3rd undertaking and final Game Day of round one:

Game Day did it to me again. ‪#‎thereweretears‬
Why? You may ask.
Because I hear Shaun T say I am an athlete and I am fighting hard to believe it.
Today I pushed play and hit it hard for all those times in life I came in last or fell short.
Not today.
I might not be first yet, but I'm no longer last.

Funny thing is that I don't hear him yelling at me any longer.  I hear him coaching me.  There is a difference.  He is still rather bossy, however...always a Tony Horton fan will I be.  But, after 30 days, I did decide to jump right into a P90X/Asylum hybrid schedule.  Crazy as it sounds, I couldn't leave the Asylum yet, so a hybrid gave me the best of two worlds. 

One would have thought that I would have made it through the 4th Game Day without tears.

August 23rd's (today's) challenge group post...

Game Day.
Knocked this one out for all the times I have ever felt like the weakest link.
Yes, ‪#‎thereweretears‬ again.
‪#‎getsmeeverytime‬

Today what got me was when he kept saying the team is only as strong as the weakest link.  The time before it was when Shaun T talked about being last and being an athlete.  The fear of failure and the continuous questions he asks during the workout, "Can you stick with it?" "Can you last?" got me the times before then.
It's mental, y'all.
Shaun T gets inside your head and messes with you until you get it straight for yourself.
Until you begin to believe the truth about yourself because you are here doing the work, progressing each day you push play, putting in your time, sweat, and tears to improve.
Until, one day, you realize you have improved.
Insanity Asylum.
It's therapy, in a curious way, really.
I feared Shaun T and his workouts, remember?
I now respectfully admire him for his coaching/training and trust the process of his design, but I no longer fear him or the workouts.
Both are effective, even if I still think he's a little bossy. {smile}